Feeling bad

After 30 min call with someone who is trying to advice me to take action about something in my life that normally people do and don't wait for so long without doing a thing !

ok,the thing is i'm married since almost 4 years and no baby yet. so it's actually a problem in our community though i found lots of people all over the world face the same way of thinking about that problem from their community

anyway,i don't know really why the exact thing that made me feel bad, because it's something personal and no one in the world business or because i desperately wanna have my own baby as it's been long time now as a married person and i afraid as most of people that i might not have a baby or i really wanna but nothing in my hand to do or it's just mixed feeling.. i really don't know .

i admit i mostly don't think of it or give it 5% of my thinking or mind. and sometimes i feel i'm free now and i can get busy to make my dreams come true,i'm afraid of having baby and my life changed and i forget myself and my dreams completely then i regret it later. though i keep telling myself it could be something that push my forward my dreams and even work hard but i don't know.

no,don't think like i'm being selfish and thinking about myself and dreams or so.. i really wanna be a mother, everyone knows that any baby or little kids i met loves me without a reason and i love them all ,love to play with them and draw things and listening to whatever they are saying and answering whatever they're asking

everyone simply don't understand that i leave it to Allah,i know at the right time i'll be a mother, when i'm ready for it, not everyone's life is the same, just give me a break and mind your own business,i really don't understand why people behave this way they keep pressing at your weakness or the thing you don't have and make you go crazy or feeling pressure that you're incomplete though we're all human and not perfect nor complete !! why don't we just simply live our life and enjoy the moment ,why the rush ?! why we need everything right now ..at this moment ! somethings meant to be this way take some time !! yes,we should do what we've to do and leave the rest to Allah ,our god who created us,He knows better and knows what is right for us at this moment and He's very Generous and i've faith that i'll be a mother at the right time He chooses for me

so people somethings take time,so chill and live your life and stop interfering other's life
Peace!     

before new year...

i'm late as always which it's not good at all. but still wanna do my best and keep trying till i change the way i always wished for .

i wanted to post at the end of last month about what i've achieved but i actually didn't. why?! no time or ... !! no reason maybe lazy to type which not good either :/

before making my new year plan which i'm also very late to planning it .still wasting time :/
but i won't give up on myself or my plans or my dream i've to keep trying & trying..
never lose hope

few things to do...
check what i've done 4m last month plan .i didn't do much but i wanna face myself with the ugly truth that i only plan but never make things happen as i planed

make new year plan and next month plan.. only few days b4 the end of jan. so i'll only plan and set everything on right place

commitment

My big problem in life,Commitment. i've a problem to commit to plan ,i can't stick into plan i make more than 2 to 3 days only!! that's way i can't achieve anything in my life.
i can't make my dreams come true or make any accomplishments ,that's really sad & disappointing.

this month ,i'm trying my best to be more committed to my monthly plan & hoping to achieve some great stuff so i can feel satisfied & contented deep inside about myself

another way to teach myself to stay committed , my youtube channel.. though i keep telling my sister other reasons why i created this channel but the main reason i started to commit & upload video or 2 every week. deep inside i'm a person who likes to be more behind the senses to be seen :D

another reason to be more confident, this a major problem i got, always feeling shy so i can't speak or .. not good thing at all

i hope to be more committed so i can live my life and feel a complete Satisfaction

  

Youtube Banner

Finally,
i designed a banner for my youtube channel ,i'm happy with it as my 1st try to make 1. maybe it's not so amazing but still i'm satisfied .everything has a beginning and after a while i'll be more professional :))

ok ,this is my 1st. banner

but after i uploaded on channel , i couldn't read it so i made some changes and this was the final look

i'm not sure which one is better, hope you can help me out to choose
they look different as a channel banner i'll screen record it and will upload it
i've a problem with print screen or i would have done it already

so how i designed it. it's so easy & u don't need any experience or knowledge to create one
so thanks to this video i made my own banner
  

and here's the link of pic monkey site
picmonkey photo editor

so make your own banner & have fun :)

last month of the year 2014

it's sad how fast days passes !! only few days away from 2015. so i had too plan this month and make some achievements so i feel kinda satisfied about myself.

yesterday morning i made plan. i kinda follow it yesterday but i missed some few things which is not good. and it seems like today i won't be able to complete all tasks i planed but still i'll do my best and won't give up till the last sec. of this month of this year

• one of my plans no FB ,it does waste most of my time and every1's time on this plant though it's been over year and half i'm not that much into FB anymore,still somehow wastes my time.

• i've too care more about my health ,exercise ,eat healthy food,drink lots of water(though it's hard to do as it's winter already) drink useful drinks , loss weight now 65kg >>> 60kg is my target 

• focus >>> on my youtube channel, complete 20 videos. design logo & banner, create instagram account & blog..

• study >> interior design- i've abook to study & other interesting stuff all about interior design..

         also wanna start english course online ..maybe learn photoshop

• starting my zone.. which will be my workshop where i can make different stuff, crafting :D

• more care about me....

• do more blogging ..

still planning for more.... this month i must control my life ..