Day 2:meaningless

After i finished yesterday post ,i was so excited to post more and lots of thoughts filled my head struggling to come out !

but now i'm not sure ,not feeling in a mood to say anything. Actually not feeling well.probably my brain not working too.

Today 28 Ramadan , so tomorrow last day of this great month. i can't tell how i feel, but it passes so so fast that you feel no time to do anything the way you would like it to be done but we pray that may Allah accept our good deeds and forgive us if we could do more but we didn't .

sometimes, you feel everything are meaningless specially when you lose special one forever, like no meaning of staying alive or no meaning of  living or doing anything, nothing feel the same. just days passes and you simply waiting your time to come. you may look normal to everyone around , you smile and life goes on but deep inside your heart is broken,there's a sadness inside your heart that need time to feel the opposite. you need time to heal.you need people to understand that too without saying and you want them stop asking why aren't you enjoying what are you doing!,they should be thankful that you can move on and live but without feeling or meaning to whatever you are doing at this point. it's something you can't control but you're patient until time passes and all these sadness deep inside gone. thankfully you accept every feeling you have and waits till it take its journey inside you,sometimes it conquer all of you ,your mind and heart.sometimes you can resist it and win to have some peace of mind and sometimes you lose. it gonna take time until the battle is over, everything take time so be patient until it ends and stay strong

be patient and stay strong 

Day 1 : Intro. + " For me"

Well, last time i post something was in 2016 !

anyway, here i am, i'm back ,trying to start something that i actually don't know how it will ends or what i will get at the end of this journey or even i will commit till the end of it. so i'll be here for 30 days. daily random thoughts just write down whatever cross my mind with daily random photo of my day.

this is a challenge for me, as always i have problem to stuck on something for more than 3 - 5 days .so lets try to do that for 30 days for 30min per day, with no pressure if i miss a day or stopped

why blogging?
for myself, I've found that the way i am now or how i think, in fact helps the future me somehow, because after years i'll be reading this and actually don't believe that i wrote that 1 day :))
but sometimes, let me know i didn't change that much that i'm same person but with different age :)) but more grown up i believe.sometimes,what i post now push me forward ,maybe refresh my memory and thoughts.

Same in twitter as it's been a while i spend more time using it maybe not more time but where i express my feeling or sharing thoughts. and every while i go through all my tweets and it give me some kinda power. so i tweet message for the older me. maybe it helps me in the future.

i went to twitter to a run away from Facebook and from all the eyes who would wonder why she says that or what does she means or whatever . I've no power to argue with anyone or even to try to make someone understand my point of view or even care what they think what am i thinking or doing with my life.though my life is so simple that anyone can imagine :D but still some people are curious but i'm way too mysterious :]

i'm kinda person who love to take it easy all the time, to enjoy little details and do anything the best i could, i hate to be in rush , like running in life doing everything quickly just to be done with no feelings and forget the main reason of life or who am i or what i wanna do with my life.

so my advice" keep it simple and take it easy, stay mysterious in a world full of naked lives".

do it later !!

it's a life curse, when you decide to make things later or do it tomorrow not now or today, you're actually wasting years of your life without knowing.delaying your daily tasks is the worst thing you can ever do,when you've this option in your life with no specific while/time or dead end ,you'll actually keep delaying things forever and done nothing ever ..and this's my life 

keep delaying and list most of things to do later,i hate it. i've already wasted years and don't wanna waste more but it won't be wasted by a wish ! i must do something and work hard, i need to make lots of efforts so i can stand up again and make up for these wasted years ,so may Allah make me strong and determined to achieve something remarkable this year

so my advice to myself & you, don't waste time or delay any task or work for later. life's too short to be wasted.later not an option any more,simply do it Now  

 

unexpected gift :)

I don't remember when was the last time i got a gift , unexpected or even expected one !! 

you know wrapped gift with love with card full of deep true feelings and the gift something you love and need but you totally forgot you actually need it. 

i don't know if social media is the reason there's no feeling any more, and people wish others happy birthdays or whatever with photos or even words and that's it ! even now few who wishes you :/ 

i really don't know what's wrong with people?! because a gift would cost much and every1 now afford living hardly!! i'm not saying an expensive gift but enough remembering someone it'll makes her/him happy with something even if it cost 1$ 

nowadays, i'm seriously searching a job which is somehow not me and not a thing i would be serious about but i wanna buy gifts for my family and friends ..and for myself , so to buy gifts i need money and money mean to do a job. so i hope i can do find a job soon 

so whoever come across this post, give gifts to your loved ones for no reason and let them know that you care and really appreciate them being in your life.

i would love to end this post with our beloved prophet Muhammad(PBUH)'s Hadith 

  

Feeling bad

After 30 min call with someone who is trying to advice me to take action about something in my life that normally people do and don't wait for so long without doing a thing !

ok,the thing is i'm married since almost 4 years and no baby yet. so it's actually a problem in our community though i found lots of people all over the world face the same way of thinking about that problem from their community

anyway,i don't know really why the exact thing that made me feel bad, because it's something personal and no one in the world business or because i desperately wanna have my own baby as it's been long time now as a married person and i afraid as most of people that i might not have a baby or i really wanna but nothing in my hand to do or it's just mixed feeling.. i really don't know .

i admit i mostly don't think of it or give it 5% of my thinking or mind. and sometimes i feel i'm free now and i can get busy to make my dreams come true,i'm afraid of having baby and my life changed and i forget myself and my dreams completely then i regret it later. though i keep telling myself it could be something that push my forward my dreams and even work hard but i don't know.

no,don't think like i'm being selfish and thinking about myself and dreams or so.. i really wanna be a mother, everyone knows that any baby or little kids i met loves me without a reason and i love them all ,love to play with them and draw things and listening to whatever they are saying and answering whatever they're asking

everyone simply don't understand that i leave it to Allah,i know at the right time i'll be a mother, when i'm ready for it, not everyone's life is the same, just give me a break and mind your own business,i really don't understand why people behave this way they keep pressing at your weakness or the thing you don't have and make you go crazy or feeling pressure that you're incomplete though we're all human and not perfect nor complete !! why don't we just simply live our life and enjoy the moment ,why the rush ?! why we need everything right now ..at this moment ! somethings meant to be this way take some time !! yes,we should do what we've to do and leave the rest to Allah ,our god who created us,He knows better and knows what is right for us at this moment and He's very Generous and i've faith that i'll be a mother at the right time He chooses for me

so people somethings take time,so chill and live your life and stop interfering other's life
Peace!