Letter to a special friend :)

Dear ...
you know yourself well
just wanna let you know that i'm watching you :P
don't worry, just wanna make sure everything is fine
but it looks not , you can say that i'm watching your blog daily .. & it makes me feel bad that i can't help you :(
and whenever i wanted to comment that i'm here with you , i wanna tell you that you are not alone. and i'll always be there whenever you needed me, i'll always be by your side... i'll always support you as long as i live.. but i thought not to comment so, for many reasons, 1st, coz i'm afraid that i can't keep my promise to be always there for you, i afraid if that happen one day ,you will be disappointed , but you should know and be sure that it won't happen and i'll do my best to be there for you my good dear friend ,i admire you ,love you.. you are not only my friend but a sister too.

few months ago, i was close to death more than anything else, maybe that's why i don't wanna promise that i'll be there !! because since that time i feel that death so close to me and it comes any time then i won't be there no more but still as i said b4 i will be there as long as i still breathe

but still i want you to keep this in your mind "never search happiness in others,this will make u feel alone,but search it in urself,U will feel happy even if u left alone"

i tought myself to feel happy all the time even if i'm alone ,don't let anything or anyone ruin your mood

you know...
last year i've grown up.. if you can imagine how sick i was.. the pain i was suffering for months.. and i was alone... my family very far ..and i have to face all alone... i had to took care of lots of things though i'm not able too ..but it's my responsibility.... and a husband who fights most of times for nothing !!!
A surgery !! i was alone .. i wanted so badly to have my mother next to me... i was so weak,so sick...i was crying daily and pray that she can make it and come... even i put my clothes in the beg which i would wear after surgery ,no one helped me.. i found myself all alone, had to do everything by myself.. and i was so weak so much pain so much scared but i've to face all alone but at this time i felt it's time too grow up ,stop crying and take the charge.. and i had that faith that only Allah is with me.. He's the only one who feels what i suffering from and He's the only one who can make it ends.. so i go close to him & i felt He's so close to me

just wanna tell you at some point we'll be forced to grow up even if we don't wanna so
that what happened to me .. we must grow up whether we like it or not.. at some point we will be alone, have no one to depend on or asking for help ...at this point we will be forced to depend on ourselves so we can survive ... but that will make you a strong person ..but don't worry the young girl deep inside will live forever ;)

be 100% sure that you are not alone.. because Allah is always there for all of us :)
He's the most Merciful , and also be sure He's the only one who can help you , people come and go... and sometimes people change... and some won't be there all the time but Him ,no never. He is always there

all you need to do,just go close to him and pray and ask him whatever you wish and be sure it'll come true ,you just have to wait ;)

i love you :)

please don't be sad & be happy
you know i'll always be there for you just knock my door and i'll be there :)

hugs & kisses

i might be watching you daily but there's who watch both of us every sec. Allah :)
so don't worry ,may your sadness turns into happiness :*