Monday, December 7, 2015

Feeling bad

After 30 min call with someone who is trying to advice me to take action about something in my life that normally people do and don't wait for so long without doing a thing !

ok,the thing is i'm married since almost 4 years and no baby yet. so it's actually a problem in our community though i found lots of people all over the world face the same way of thinking about that problem from their community

anyway,i don't know really why the exact thing that made me feel bad, because it's something personal and no one in the world business or because i desperately wanna have my own baby as it's been long time now as a married person and i afraid as most of people that i might not have a baby or i really wanna but nothing in my hand to do or it's just mixed feeling.. i really don't know .

i admit i mostly don't think of it or give it 5% of my thinking or mind. and sometimes i feel i'm free now and i can get busy to make my dreams come true,i'm afraid of having baby and my life changed and i forget myself and my dreams completely then i regret it later. though i keep telling myself it could be something that push my forward my dreams and even work hard but i don't know.

no,don't think like i'm being selfish and thinking about myself and dreams or so.. i really wanna be a mother, everyone knows that any baby or little kids i met loves me without a reason and i love them all ,love to play with them and draw things and listening to whatever they are saying and answering whatever they're asking

everyone simply don't understand that i leave it to Allah,i know at the right time i'll be a mother, when i'm ready for it, not everyone's life is the same, just give me a break and mind your own business,i really don't understand why people behave this way they keep pressing at your weakness or the thing you don't have and make you go crazy or feeling pressure that you're incomplete though we're all human and not perfect nor complete !! why don't we just simply live our life and enjoy the moment ,why the rush ?! why we need everything right now this moment ! somethings meant to be this way take some time !! yes,we should do what we've to do and leave the rest to Allah ,our god who created us,He knows better and knows what is right for us at this moment and He's very Generous and i've faith that i'll be a mother at the right time He chooses for me

so people somethings take time,so chill and live your life and stop interfering other's life