Really,i don't know why... the day passes... normally.. don't know how i even spend it.. everything happens so fast..so quickly... but once i go to bed... place my head on my pillow to sleep.. lots of thoughts ,ideas & what i wanna do... and what i should or must do.. what i need... but why now!! like i'm sleepy all day or lost !! remember nothing.. kinda brainless all day long... but when i should sleep my brain wakes !! i got some amazing ideas... and lots of thoughts... so i wish i wake up again 2 do it or even write it down so i remember next day.. but i tell myself i should sleep now.. and tomorrow i'll do that... but when i wake up in the morning ..i forgot everything.. and live just normal..spend day like any day before and like any day after that !! which i really don't like ! so now i'm thinking ...trying to figure out.. what's the problem.. why i'm like that.. when i will change that!! when my ideas, thoughts will be more than ideas...thoughts!! become real.. When!! and when i'll stop asking myself when!! and when that happens every night i pray that i stay alive just to do that and do this... then i wake up.. but nothing changed !! i'm the same person.. same daily activities ..
then the question..what am i waiting for 2 change that !! i mean ..use my brain in the morning.. and these ideas and thoughts ...do what i wanna do... as i should do...& sleep deep at night!! yeah,sometimes i spend my day differently and at the end of the day i feel happy like i achieved something good.. but that don't happen much.
but now let's think again.. about the main problem... what makes me or the reason that i'm brainless all day !!
last month... maybe more than a month..and i'm observing myself.. watching myself..what i'm doing.. how i spend my time.. in fact how i waste my time... so i found that all my life style is wrong.. totally wrong!! my day time wasted.. all day wasted.. and still i'm wasting.. and i knew and decided what 2 do about that still didn't take any step forward for the change.. maybe" in sha Allah" after exams over.. i'll become more serious about that matter .. i must.. no more wasting time... life is short.. and still did nothing.. and as i'm young.. and this's the time when my level of power and health is the most ... i shouldn't waste my youth for nonsense!!
i wanna be active... make my dreams come true... make my ideas become real.. something i can see... something i can touch... so again i ask myself.. what am i waiting for !! but for now i've the answer.. till exams are over!! :))
but i'll keep this in mind "Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time ,we are the ones we have been waiting for,we are the change that we seek"